Classic SNL Review: January 24, 1987: Joe Montana and Walter Payton / Debbie Harry (S12E09)

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RATINGS SYSTEM:
***** - Classic
**** - Great
*** - Good/Average
** - Meh
* - Awful

OPENING: NFL VIDEO COUNTDOWN

  • Walter Payton counts down football teams’ music videos and presents the debut of “We Are Kickers”.

  • It’s fitting that Walter Payton, who participated in the Super Bowl Shuffle video a little over a year before, is in this sketch. He has a little trouble with his lines at first, but they give him a few funny jokes (particularly Tom Landry having a song called “Physical Needs”).

  • The meat of the sketch, of course, is the video itself, with Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz, Phil Hartman and a bunch of extras (not sure if any are writers or other notable production staff) singing in broken English (“We are kickers, we kick ball”). I particularly like Hartman’s verse where his character gets a little lost. There’s some fun 1980’s-style video effects here too.

  • Written by Robert Smigel, with assistance from George Meyer, Jon Vitti, and Jim Downey.

  • Rerun alterations: Mic level fixed on Payton’s first line. More reverb added to music video audio. An edit before Lovitz’s appearance to remove his false start, and a small cut after his verse. Last chorus replaced with dress rehearsal to fix subtitle timing issue.

*** 1/2

MONOLOGUE

  • Joe Montana’s concussion from the NFC playoff game a few weeks back causes him to repeat himself.

  • This was a decent way to make reference to the Jim Burt tackle, and short enough not to belabor the joke, though Montana seems to have a little trouble with the timing on his lines.

  • Tony Garnier is filling in on bass tonight, while Chris Parker is now permanently behind the drum kit.

  • Rerun alterations: Replaced with dress rehearsal; Montana’s more relaxed in that take.

** 1/2 live, *** dress

COMMERCIAL: ADOBE (repeat of 11/15/86)

SKETCH: BAR

  • Pathological liar Tommy Flanagan (Jon Lovitz) fibs about his alleged football career to Walter Payton.

  • This does have a few good lines as usual (particularly the broken nose joke) but it feels a little like the writers were aware that the Liar sketches are starting to run down at this point; this sketch introduces “and yet it happened” as a potential new catchphrase. I did like Payton’s little run at the end, though.

  • I see a few of the kickers from the cold opening in the background.

  • Written by A. Whitney Brown and Jon Lovitz.

  • Rerun alterations: Applause mixed out of beginning.

***

SKETCH: THE HONEST MAN

  • Dan’s (Phil Hartman) roommate Stu (Joe Montana) interrupts his potential tryst with Leslie (Jan Hooks).

  • This is rightfully well-remembered, being repeated in the Tony Danza episode two seasons later as well as various Sports Extra compilations over the years. It’s short (under 3 minutes), simple, and it has a great punchline.

  • Joe Montana’s lack of acting experience actually helps him sell his character as pretty guileless.

  • Written by Tom Davis.

  • Rerun alterations: Hartman crossing over to Hooks at the beginning is cut. A short cut after “There he is”.

*****

COMMERCIAL: CRACK

  • Gymnast (Dana Carvey), dancer (Jan Hooks) and business executive (Kevin Nealon) are members of the crack generation.

  • Another spoof of the Coffee Achievers, but with a hilariously dark twist, especially after the reveal.

  • I like the little “National Crack Processors Lobby” sponsorship disclaimer at the end.

  • Written by Rosie Shuster; directed by James Signorelli.

****

SHOW: THE NFL TODAY

  • Brent Musburger (Kevin Nealon) previews tomorrow’s big game by interviewing Joe Montana and last-minute halftime performer Neil Young (Dana Carvey); Jimmy “The Greek” Snyder (Phil Hartman) eventually gives his pick.

  • Pretty enjoyable, featuring the debut of Kevin Nealon’s Brent Musburger (complete with Nealon imitating his droopy eyes manually).

  • Montana comes off as a good sport here, and he manages to poke fun at himself over the Jim Burt tackle (“I didn’t stay for the whole game”) as well as get a dig in at Burt. There’s also a well done callback to the monologue at the end of his interview.

  • Good Neil Young impression from Carvey, particularly his version of the “Mickey Mouse Club” song (sounding a little like “Cowgirl in the Sand”).

  • Hartman’s Jimmy The Greek impression is hilarious, particularly the voice he uses.

  • Written by Robert Smigel, Jim Downey and George Meyer.

  • Rerun alterations: A second of black screen removed during transition from opening to Nealon. The Classic SNL airing also removes the beginning of the Neil Young interview where he sings “Needle and the Damage Done”.

****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: “FRENCH KISSIN’ IN THE USA”

  • Harry’s vocals are a little buried in the mix, but this is a bit more muscular sounding than the album version on Rockbird.

  • Written by Chuck Lorre, better known now for his work as a sitcom creator.

  • Confirmed band members: Chris Stein (guitar), Leigh Foxx (bass), Jimmy Clark (drums), Seth Justman (keyboards). I’m guessing Jimmy Rip is the other guitar and Phil Ashley is the other keyboard player. Not sure who does the sax solo in this performance or who the three backing vocalists are (the one in the middle really goes for it).

  • For some reason, the lighting goes dark for a second during the second chorus.

  • Rerun alterations: None.

SKETCH: MACE

  • Hostage (Kevin Nealon) foolishly and repeatedly tries to escape from his kidnapper Mace (Phil Hartman).

  • The first appearance of one of Phil Hartman’s lesser known characters, Mace. He appears only four times over five seasons.

  • This is the kind of role that Kevin Nealon excels at, the incompetent guy who still has faith in his ability to do whatever he keeps failing at. His and Hartman’s committed performances are really what make this work.

  • Written by Phil Hartman.

  • Rerun alterations: None

*** 1/2

WEEKEND UPDATE

  • Best jokes: Hu Yaobang, Reagan urine test, Time Woman of the Year, condom ads

  • Opening music: “Blue Velvet” by Bobby Vinton

  • Dennis Miller has a relatively good night, though with a little more audience trolling than usual (particularly on the “get me a sandwich” punchline to the Time joke, which is followed up by…a joke about Japanese people always having cameras).

  • Victoria Jackson returns, ostensibly to cover the Middle East, but she instead wants to talk about how her baby Scarlet can predict the future when being fed Cheerios. More cute than funny, but it has its charm.

  • A. Whitney Brown returns to discuss racial relations in the wake of Evan Mecham' cancelling Martin Luther King Day in Arizona, the Howard Beach incident, and the Forsyth County demonstrations. The usual good stuff from Brown, with some pointed lines, though in the wake of how rough things seem to be getting in terms of this subject 30-plus years later, his optimism feels a little quaint.

  • Rerun alterations: None.

*** 1/2

SKETCH: CHICK HAZARD, PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR

  • Chick Hazard (Phil Hartman) gets a tip that teenage Nancy Maloney (Victoria Jackson) is trying out to be the singer at Eddie Spimozo’s (Jon Lovitz) Jungle Room.

  • The second (and final) appearance of Chick Hazard, and the only one of these sketches set up with him as the protagonist. This one doesn’t feel quite as focused as the first one, but Hartman and Lovitz are as good as usual here, Nora Dunn’s also a natural in her role, and Victoria Jackson gets a great showcase with her hilarious take on “Stormy Weather”.

  • Dana Carvey gets his third “Why I oughtta pound you…” in as many shows. I don’t think he does that much afterwards (if at all), but it’s funny to hear the line get a little recognition applause.

  • The Jungle Room set is different than in the last sketch.

  • Written by Phil Hartman.

  • Rerun alterations: None.

*** 1/2

MISCELLANEOUS: SUPER BOWL GAMBLING MEMORIES

  • Dallas may have lost Super Bowl X, but they beat the spread.

  • A quick hit, but it works.

  • Written by Robert Smigel.

  • Rerun alterations: None.

***

SHOW: CHURCH CHAT

  • The Church Lady (Dana Carvey) asks Shirley MacLaine (Jan Hooks) about calling herself God, and joins Joe Montana and Walter Payton in a football game.

  • This installment feels like the point where the sketch has come into its own; I think that’s because Payton and Montana are enjoying themselves here instead of being stuck in a defensive mode. The game also gives Carvey something more fun to do.

  • This is the first Church Chat that uses the regular Hartman narration; for some reason, though, the set has office chairs instead of the regular furniture. I’m guessing it must have been for practical reasons.

  • This is also the only segment where Montana and Payton appear together all night until the goodnights.

  • Written by Dana Carvey.

  • Rerun alterations: Applause from end of Adobe mixed over first few seconds.

****

COMMERCIAL: THE MICHAEL JACKSON WORKOUT TAPE

  • Michael Jackson (Walter Payton) shows how you can beef up just like he did.

  • Funny concept, though Walter Payton seems to be having trouble with his line delivery, which unfortunately distracts from the sketch a little too much.

  • Who’s the guy playing the buffed-up Emmanuel Lewis? (“It works! Believe me, it works!”)

  • Rerun alterations: The Classic SNL airing replaces the instrumental versions of Michael Jackson tracks playing in the second half with generic music.

** 1/2

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: “IN LOVE WITH LOVE”

  • Another single from Rockbird, this is another performance given a little more thrust than the studio version (which would be remixed by Stock Aitken Waterman for the UK single).

  • Rerun alterations: None.

COMMERCIAL: UNITED WAY

  • Joe Montana is proud to support the United Way, because they help people who lost everything after taking betting advice from Jimmy The Greek.

  • Another decent idea, but Montana has even more trouble with his line delivery than Payton did in Michael Jackson Workout, with his lines being mistimed to the stills (leading to some awkward pauses) and at one point really struggling with saying his lines.

  • I did get a laugh at some of the still pictures. I think I also spotted a few of the kickers from the cold opening.

**

GOODNIGHTS

  • Walter Payton speaks on behalf of everyone: “We had a good time tonight! Glad you could join us!” Chris Stein holds up a puppet. Tom Davis gets Joe Montana’s autograph.

  • Davis is also back in the writing credits tonight; E. Jean Carroll is gone, but Christine Zander has been added to the writer’s room. Billy Kimball is credited as a guest writer.

  • Don Pardo reads a disclaimer about the use of the name Eddie Fontaine in the October 18, 1986 show (“It was meant to be a totally fictitious character, not a real person.”) before announcing next week’s show with “superjock” Paul Shaffer and promising thank you notes to everyone who sent him Christmas presents.

Final thoughts: A solid show; while not on the level of Shatner’s episode, this week still had a run of good sketches throughout. Montana and Payton were a little stiff at times, but both managed to be enjoyable hosts (I’d say Montana was a little better though, since he got the big laugh line in The Honest Man). Phil Hartman also has a particularly great night here. Debbie Harry was pretty good as well, though I thought her 1981 performances were more interesting.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS:

  • The Honest Man

  • Crack

  • Church Chat

  • The NFL Today

  • NFL Video Countdown

  • Chick Hazard, Private Investigator

SHOW LOWLIGHTS:

  • United Way

MVP:

  • Phil Hartman

CAST & GUEST BREAKDOWN:

cast

  • Dana Carvey: 5 appearances [NFL Video Countdown, Crack, The NFL Today, Chick Hazard, Private Investigator, Church Chat]

  • Nora Dunn: 1 appearance [Chick Hazard, Private Investigator]

  • Phil Hartman: 5 appearances [NFL Video Countdown, The Honest Man, The NFL Today, Mace, Chick Hazard, Private Investigator]; 4 voiceovers [Crack, Chick Hazard, Private Investigator, Super Bowl Gambling Memories, Church Chat]

  • Jan Hooks: 3 appearances [The Honest Man, Crack, Church Chat]

  • Victoria Jackson: 2 appearances [Weekend Update, Chick Hazard, Private Investigator]

  • Jon Lovitz: 3 appearances [NFL Video Countdown, Bar, Chick Hazard, Private Investigator]

  • Dennis Miller: 1 appearance [Weekend Update]

featured players

  • A. Whitney Brown: 2 appearances [Bar, Weekend Update]

  • Kevin Nealon: 4 appearances [Crack, The NFL Today, Mace, Chick Hazard, Private Investigator]

unbilled crew, extras, and bit players

  • Al Franken: 1 voiceover [Super Bowl Gambling Memories]

  • Don Pardo: 2 voiceovers [The Michael Jackson Workout Tape, United Way]

  • Jim Pitt: 1 appearance [Chick Hazard, Private Investigator]

  • Marc Shaiman: 1 appearance [Chick Hazard, Private Investigator]

guests

  • Joe Montana: 5 appearances [Monologue, The Honest Man, The NFL Today, Church Chat, United Way]

  • Walter Payton: 5 appearances [NFL Video Countdown, Bar, Chick Hazard, Private Investigator, Church Chat, The Michael Jackson Workout Tape]

  • Debbie Harry: 2 appearances [“French Kissin’ in the USA”, “In Love With Love”]

  • Seth Justman: 2 appearances [“French Kissin’ in the USA”, “In Love With Love”]

  • Chris Stein: 2 appearances [“French Kissin’ in the USA”, “In Love With Love”]

REBROADCAST HISTORY:

  • September 12, 1987

Known alterations:

  • Crack and United Way removed

  • “Scotch and Soda” added

  • Edits: “NFL VIdeo Countdown”, The Honest Man, The NFL Today. Additional edits to The NFL Today and The Michael Jackson Workout Tape.

  • Dress substitutions: Monologue.

Repeat-only material:

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: “SCOTCH AND SODA”

  • A low-key jazzy number, with only G.E. Smith and Tony Garnier backing up Buster Poindexter, who also speaks a bit about his frustrations with being relegated to the five-to-one spot on the show.

Additional screen captures from this episode are available here.