Classic SNL Review: December 13, 1986: Steve Guttenberg / The Pretenders (S12E07)

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RATINGS SYSTEM:
***** - Classic
**** - Great
*** - Good/Average
** - Meh
* - Awful

OPENING: IRANIAN NATIONAL ASSEMBLY

  • Mr. Rafsan-Jani (Jon Lovitz) testifies about his part in the arms-for-hostages deal to a committee of mullahs trying to get to the bottom of Infidelscam.

  • There were a few too-easy stereotypical jokes (though Lovitz taking an oath by placing his hand on his beard was a pretty funny gag), but this was a good twist on the Iran-Contra affair. Phil Hartman’s run as the Iranian equivalent of the archetypal folksy American politician alone makes this worth checking out, especially when he has that impressive run of dialogue with the Iranian names.

  • Rerun alterations: A second of black screen removed before the start of the montage.

*** 1/2

MONOLOGUE

  • Despite his success as an actor, Steve Guttenberg still wasn’t cool at his high school reunion, so he makes up for it by playing “War” on sousaphone with the SNL Band.

  • There’s really not a whole lot of substance to this monologue, but it, like Guttenberg, is charming enough, and the music performance is fun.

  • Rerun alterations: A second or two removed from the end of the balcony shot. Transition to McSooshi changed from turning page graphic to fade out-fade in.

***

COMMERCIAL: MCSOOSHI

  • Fast food employees and customers hand-jive to celebrate the Japanese delicacy’s arrival.

  • This is actually a spoof of a specific series of McDonald’s commercials that ran at the time (the “hand-warming” campaign); between that and sushi being much less of a novelty now than it was in the mid-80s, I feel like the comic impact was a bit greater back then than now. It still nails the McDonald’s commercial aesthetic, though, and the bits with the Japanese man eating a burger and shrugging, and the tagline’s double-entendre still work.

  • Rerun alterations: None.

***

SKETCH: DEREK STEVENS

  • A marketing expert (Kevin Nealon) advises Derek Stevens (Dana Carvey) that death is the best thing he can do to boost his flagging sales.

  • I wanted to enjoy this more than I did. The first half of the sketch, where Nealon explains his plan, is pretty good, particularly the career comparison bar graph that contrasted Jim Morrison and Peter Frampton’s sales; the second half just felt too much like they were trying to recreate “Choppin’ Broccoli”.

  • Written by Dana Carvey.

  • Rerun alterations: The zoom out from Hartman’s face at the beginning is removed, and the scene now begins when he starts to speak.

** 1/2

SKETCH: TWO GUYS

  • A gay man (Steve Guttenberg) repeatedly tries to fool a blind man (Jon Lovitz) into sleeping with him.

  • This shouldn’t have been as funny as it was, particularly with the offensive premise and Lovitz repeatedly saying that the experience is “making him sick” (to audience laughter), but the particularly weak ruses Guttenberg performs and the ending with Steve Guttenberg addressing the audience (essentially saying “don’t do this” and “we don’t know if this actually happens”) help the sketch lean into its cartoonish ridiculousness and give this a bit of a fun improv-show feel.

  • According to Tom Shales, this sketch understandably got complaints from the LGBTQ and disabled communities after it aired, and NBC censors told Lorne Michaels to cut it from the repeat version. Michaels refused, and the show wasn’t rebroadcast that summer.

  • Rerun alterations: None

*** 1/2

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: “DON’T GET ME WRONG”

  • The Pretenders perform the lead single from their current album Get Close; this version has a bit of energy behind it (particularly in the rhythm section) though the keyboard parts sound a little tinny to me.

  • Guttenberg introduces the band by saying it’s their debut live performance; this actually refers to this particular incarnation of the band, which featured Robbie Mcintosh (guitar), T.M. Stevens (bass), Blair Cunningham (drums), and touring member Bernie Worrell (keyboards).

  • Rerun alterations: None.

COMMERCIAL: SIDESHOW OF THE STARS

  • Penn & Teller present the freakiest stars of stage and screen.

  • This was fun, particularly the debut of Phil Hartman’s Charlton Heston impression, seen here as the “missing link”, reciting “Ode on a Grecian Urn” and biting the head off a (fake) chicken. Also a good excuse for Penn Jillette to show off his fire-eating skills.

  • Written by Robert Smigel and Bob Odenkirk.

  • Rerun alterations: The Sally Kellerman scene is replaced with dress rehearsal to remove a chyron error. The SNL Band outro bumper is also removed.

*** 1/2

WEEKEND UPDATE

  • Best jokes: Fifth amendment, pencil shavings, Geraldo

  • Music: “Hallelujah Chorus” from Handel’s Messiah

  • Dennis Miller has another decent run of jokes tonight (loved his comment about Geraldo Rivera being to journalism what Lt. William Calley was to thatched huts); he also gets a fun little segment about taking a cardboard cutout of himself to Washington.

  • There’s also an interesting cutaway bit with Victoria Jackson and Steve Guttenberg as National Spelling Bee contestants; Guttenberg’s sad facial expression after he gets his word wrong actually gets the audience to go “awww”, before Miller chides them “C’mon, the kid choked!”. I wonder if this was originally written as a full sketch and salvaged by whittling it down to an Update segment.

  • Nora Dunn’s sex kitten character Babette returns for the first time this season to talk about how the United States can repair relations with France. Dunn is good as usual, but this seems too similar to the commentary she did back in April.

  • According to Getty Images, there was a commentary with Jon Lovitz and Phil Hartman that was cut after dress rehearsal. I wonder if Hartman was playing Bud McFarlane.

  • Rerun alterations: None

***

SKETCH: MOVIE TALK

  • Don (Phil Hartman) and Marge (Jan Hooks) try to impress their daughter’s (Victoria Jackson) date Steve Guttenberg with their movie knowledge.

  • Not too many hard laughs in this one, but this works as a relatable slice-of-life scene. It helps that Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks pretty much nail their characters here; they’re perfect as friendly if slightly embarrassing middle aged parents.

  • Hooks is playing Marge Keister here, but in this sketch only, the family’s surname is Chatsworth. Later appearances of these characters confirm that they’re the Keisters.

  • Rerun alterations: A second of dead air cut from the beginning.

***

GUEST PERFORMANCE

  • Penn & Teller perform The World’s Most Expensive Card Trick using computers and the Spectacolor screen in Times Square.

  • The usual entertaining fare from Penn & Teller, with some additional novelty coming from the now-primitive computer technology (140 MB hard drives on those computers) and the location shoot.

  • According to Penn Jillette in a 1994 interview, the trick is that the two bystanders were actors, and they were instructed to select that card.

  • James Signorelli gets a directing credit for this segment.

  • Rerun alterations: None

***

SKETCH: THE BACK PAGE

  • A 1930s newsroom devotes itself to the more mundane stories of the day.

  • The audience didn’t really seem to be into this one (aside from Carvey’s “why I oughtta pound you…”) but I thought this was a well written, well performed piece. It helps to have a cast that’s particularly adept at performing these types of scenes, as Hartman and Lovitz already demonstrated in the Jungle Room sketch in Kinison.

  • Written by George Meyer.

  • Rerun alterations: None

*** 1/2

MISCELLANEOUS: MARGE AND STEVE

  • Marge (Jan Hooks) remembers who she was trying to talk about with Steve earlier.

  • Not rateable, but this makes the Movie Talk sketch even better, and it reminds me of how the show used to do runners in its earlier years.

  • Rerun alterations: None

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: “HOW MUCH DID YOU GET FOR YOUR SOUL?”

  • Another Get Close track; this one is more of a funk number. T.M. Stevens is particularly kinetic here, and Robbie McIntosh gets several solos.

  • Rerun alterations: None

SKETCH: CASTING DIRECTOR

  • Auditioning actress (Victoria Jackson) misinterprets a casting director’s (Kevin Nealon) body language as he talks on the phone.

  • This short piece feels like something that the show would have done in the early years; I could see Gilda Radner in Jackson’s role. It’s a good opportunity for Jackson to do some physical comedy, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome.

  • Rerun alterations: Transition to Bob Roberts changed from turning page to fade out-fade in.

***

FILM: “BOB ROBERTS” - TIM ROBBINS

  • Reactionary folk singer (Tim Robbins) is the voice of the conservative 80’s generation.

  • A short film that Tim Robbins would expand upon six years later in the feature film of the same name; here Bob’s just a folksinger. It’s pretty good, if not a little too creepily prescient in the wake of the Trump era (particularly Larry “Ratso” Sloman calling Roberts “a spokesman for a generation of cryptofascists”).

  • The journalist profiling Bob here is Andrew Cockburn; his daughter Olivia Wilde is the former partner of future SNL cast member Jason Sudeikis.

  • Rerun alterations: The film runs without any audience noise in the repeat. As well, the repeat version shows the complete film, which runs 35-40 seconds longer; in the live show, the film ends with Bob singing “This Land Was Made For Me”, while the repeat version has scenes with Bob and his girlfriend leaving The Village Gate and another interview segment with Bob afterwards.

*** 1/2

SKETCH: CHRISTMAS TREE

  • Father’s (Phil Hartman) over-the-top holiday enthusiasm could be a sign of something other than Christmas spirit.

  • Another short bit, with a very well handled reveal. Hartman is particularly good here.

  • Rerun alterations: None

*** 1/2

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: “A ROCKIN’ GOOD WAY (TO MESS AROUND AND FALL IN LOVE)”

  • Buster Poindexter and Chrissie Hynde duet on a playful cover of the Brook Benton / Dinah Washington hit; Hynde seems to be having a lot of fun here.

  • According to Getty Images, Buster Poindexter sang with Soozie Tyrell instead of Hynde in dress rehearsal.

  • Rerun alterations: None

GOODNIGHTS

  • Steve Guttenberg thanks America for watching and says this week has been “a joy and a real treat”. Teller dances with Victoria Jackson, Jan Hooks dances with Buster Poindexter, and Nora Dunn dances with A. Whitney Brown.

  • Don Pardo announces next week’s show with William Shatner, Lone Justice, and comedian Kevin Meaney before telling viewers to forward Christmas gifts to “Presents For Pardo”.

  • Rerun alterations: A bit of footage is trimmed from the end after the credit roll. Pardo’s voiceover is still intact.

Final thoughts: A fairly modest show that’s easy to overlook considering the other episodes that bookend it. Nothing really rises to the point of greatness, but aside from a misguided attempt to make a new “Choppin’ Broccoli” sketch, nothing’s particularly weak either. Guttenberg is a likable presence when he appears on screen, but he’s mostly out of the way here.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS:

  • The Back Page

  • Bob Roberts

  • Iranian National Assembly

  • Sideshow Of The Stars

  • Christmas Tree

  • Two Guys

SHOW LOWLIGHTS:

  • None

MVP:

  • Phil Hartman

CAST & GUEST BREAKDOWN:

cast

  • Dana Carvey: 5 appearances [Iranian National Assembly, Derek Stevens, Sideshow Of The Stars, The Back Page, Christmas Tree]

  • Nora Dunn: 4 appearances [Sideshow Of The Stars, Weekend Update, The Back Page, Christmas Tree]

  • Phil Hartman: 6 appearances [Iranian National Assembly, Derek Stevens, Sideshow Of The Stars, Movie Talk, The Back Page, Christmas Tree]

  • Jan Hooks: 6 appearances [McSooshi, Sideshow Of The Stars, Weekend Update, Movie Talk, Marge and Steve, Christmas Tree]

  • Victoria Jackson: 5 appearances [McSooshi, Weekend Update, Movie Talk, Casting Director, Christmas Tree]

  • Jon Lovitz: 4 appearances [Iranian National Assembly, Two Guys, Sideshow Of The Stars, The Back Page]; 1 voiceover [The Back Page]

  • Dennis Miller: 1 appearance [Weekend Update]

featured players

  • A. Whitney Brown: 1 appearance [Iranian National Assembly]

  • Kevin Nealon: 5 appearances [Iranian National Assembly, McSooshi, Derek Stevens, The Back Page, Casting Director]

unbilled crew, extras and bit players

  • Al Franken: 1 voiceover [McSooshi]

  • John Zonars: 1 appearance [Monologue]

G.E. Smith and the Saturday Night Live Band with Buster Poindexter

  • G.E. Smith and the Saturday Night Live Band: 2 appearances [Monologue, “A Rockin’ Good Way (To Mess Around And Fall In Love)”

  • Buster Poindexter: 1 appearance [“A Rockin’ Good Way (To Mess Around And Fall In Love)”]

  • Soozie Tyrell: 2 appearances [Monologue, “A Rockin’ Good Way (To Mess Around And Fall In Love)”]

guests

  • Steve Guttenberg: 6 appearances [Monologue, Two Guys, Weekend Update, Movie Talk, The Back Page, Marge and Steve]

  • The Pretenders: 2 appearances [“Don’t Get Me Wrong”, “How Much Did You Get For Your Soul?”]

  • Chrissie Hynde: 1 appearance [“A Rockin’ Good Way (To Mess Around And Fall In Love)”]

  • Penn & Teller: 2 appearances [Sideshow Of The Stars, Guest Performance]

  • Andrew Cockburn: 1 appearance [Bob Roberts]

  • Eriq La Salle: 1 appearance [Bob Roberts]

  • Tim Robbins: 1 appearance [Bob Roberts]

  • Larry “Ratso” Sloman: 1 appearance [Bob Roberts]

  • Fisher Stevens: 1 appearance [Bob Roberts]

REBROADCAST HISTORY:

  • Not rebroadcast on NBC (aside from a 2001 NBC All Night rebroadcast); a planned rerun for May 30, 1987 was pulled due to the “Blind Man” sketch. The NBC All Night airing has a repeat disclaimer and has some changes, though the audio isn’t remixed and Don Pardo’s closing voiceover is intact.

Known alterations:

  • Edits: Monologue, Derek Stevens, Movie Talk, Goodnights

  • Dress substitutions: Sideshow of the Stars (one scene)

  • Changed transitions: McSooshi and Bob Roberts

  • Complete Bob Roberts film aired without audience noise

Additional screen captures from this episode are available here.