Classic SNL Review: March 28, 1987: Charlton Heston / Wynton Marsalis (S12E15)

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RATINGS SYSTEM:
***** - Classic
**** - Great
*** - Good/Average
** - Meh
* - Awful

OPENING: ORAL ROBERTS UNIVERSITY

  • God (Charlton Heston) pays Oral Roberts (Phil Hartman) a visit: he wants his $8 million.

  • Great use of Heston here, and Hartman shows a particular talent for playing televangelists (as we’ll also see later tonight); Jan Hooks (wearing the often-used dress that would eventually find regular use on Ana Gasteyer’s Bobbi Mohan-Culp) also gets a few laughs.

  • Written by Bonnie and Terry Turner.

  • Rerun alterations: Replaced with dress rehearsal from Hartman leaving his office up to right before last shot beginning with Heston saying “Let it be now”; there are some differences in the delivery and dialogue, but the most noticeable change is that the smoke effect obscures Hartman and Heston much less than in the live show.

****

MONTAGE

  • Rerun alterations: The opening theme is replaced with the dress rehearsal version, and Don Pardo’s voiceover is redone to remove the announcement for Buster Poindexter.

MONOLOGUE

  • Charlton Heston discusses how SNL is different from he, an old-school performer not known for comedy, is used to.

  • Pretty straightforward, though Heston gets a good laugh by taking the blame for the rain that morning, and his description of what people at the show do instead of writing (including ordering different types of ethnic food) was funny.

  • Classy ending with Heston saying “Here’s to the new school”.

  • Rerun alterations: The very beginning of the segment up to the band completing the theme is from dress rehearsal; in the original live show, there’s a camera switch error after Heston’s entrance. The West Coast version splices in a shot of G.E. Smith and T-Bone Wolk from a later band shot.

***

COMMERCIAL: THE FRUITING

  • In a horror movie, the Clayton family finds their house is haunted by evil fruit.

  • Nice fakeout at the beginning with what looks like a Slice commercial (among other things; I’m not sure if some of the other shots are referencing specific ads) giving way to the fruit actually being an unwanted intruder.

  • Some great sight gags throughout, including a peach twitching as the boy gets dressed, orange juice coming out of the faucets, and a pineapple chasing the boy down the hall.

  • The actor playing the priest (fifth screencap above) looks very familiar, but I can’t place him.

  • Written by George Meyer; directed by James Signorelli.

  • Rerun alterations: Audio remixed; audience quieter in repeat.

*** 1/2

SKETCH: THE NEW PAPER CHASE

  • At the University of Nevada Las Vegas, Professor Kingsley’s (Charlton Heston) “Principals of Blackjack 1” course is part of a demanding workload.

  • A combination of a parody of the movie and TV show starring John Houseman, and a dig at UNLV’s sketchy basketball recruiting practices; it does help if you’re more aware of the source material and news story, but Heston’s performance is great, and the sketch has enough funny parts without the background information being necessary.

  • Written by Robert Smigel, Jim Downey and Jon Vitti.

  • Rerun alterations: Small edits to Heston’s entrance and the beginning of Jon Lovitz’s segment. Shot of black student replaced with dress to remove Phil Hartman crossing in front of camera. Hartman’s line about “Professor Kellner’s course” redubbed to “Professor Acker” (Kellner is the name of Dana Carvey’s character). SNL logo added to band shot at end.

*** 1/2

SHOW: CHURCH CHAT

  • The Church Lady (Dana Carvey) shames disgraced PTL Club leaders Jim (Phil Hartman) and Tammy Faye Bakker (Jan Hooks).

  • A well known classic due to its inclusion in several “Best Of” specials, and an example of the perfect luck the show had with this scandal happening at the time when Church Chat was a popular sketch.

  • Some fantastic smugness from Carvey here, especially during the breakdown of Jim’s tryst with Jessica Hahn, but it’s Jan Hooks’ Tammy Faye Bakker that steals the sketch with the line “Demonic raisins, I rebuke you!” and the shot of her mascara running.

  • Funny part with the Bakkers continuing to beg for money even after being chastened.

  • Written by Dana Carvey and Rosie Shuster.

  • Rerun alterations: Audience mixed out until Hartman’s voiceover ends. Small edit to remove Carvey’s line flub (“How long does Tammy take?”). Accidental shot of Hooks applying glycerin drops to mascara replaced in reruns, but left in compilation airings.

*****

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: “J MOOD”

  • The title track from Wynton Marsalis’s 1986 album, though truncated from the album version which runs 8 and a half minutes. This performance is a real treat, with some very nice playing, and the audience applauds after the solos.

  • I love that Charlton Heston gave a longer-than-standard intro which listed Marsalis’s influences, as well has his sidemen: Don Braden (saxophone), Bob Hurst (bass), Marcus Roberts (piano), and Jeff Watts (drums). All were quite young at the time (ages 22-27)

  • Rerun alterations: None.

COMMERCIAL: THE PRESIDENT HAS MUSTARD ON HIS CHIN

  • President Dexter’s (Charlton Heston) sloppy eating causes alarm and infighting between his advisors.

  • Good concept, and to-the-point; Heston’s otherwise-dignified portrayal of the President makes this that much funnier, and I love how the aides treat this like serious business.

  • Irving Stone was a real author, and Heston starred in two film adaptations of his books: The President’s Lady and The Agony and the Ecstasy. The President’s Plane Is Missing is also a real book (and TV movie), but Robert J. Serling (brother of Rod) wrote that one.

  • Written by Jim Downey.

  • Rerun alterations: Small edit when transitioning from the title screen.

*** 1/2

WEEKEND UPDATE

  • Best jokes: Pearlygate, Louis XV condoms, Geraldo Rivera

  • Opening music: “Frankenstein” by The Edgar Winter Group

  • Another solid run of jokes this week, particularly the first few jokes about the Bakker scandal (love Dennis Miller’s smug “Pardon me getting it right the first time” regarding being told he must be “born again”). Miller also shows off his “impression” of Susanna Hoffs (third screencap above).

  • Victoria Jackson comes by but says she has nothing to say, and lays on the desk therapy-style to tell Miller that the news has her feeling apathetic before reading her poem “The Life of A Rug”. It’s more cute than anything, but Jackson and Miller have the usual fun chemistry here.

  • Rerun alterations: Audience noise mixed out until after Pardo’s voiceover.

*** 1/2

SKETCH: BROOKFIELD ZOO BANQUET

  • The Sweeney Sisters (Jan Hooks and Nora Dunn) perform at a banquet to celebrate the opening of a zoo’s new primate house, where Charlton Heston is the unwitting guest of honour.

  • This feels like they joined a sketch they didn’t really have an ending for with a Sweeney Sisters medley; the first part is a little aimless, but like the Chinese New Year sketch from January, the medley does give things a boost. It helps that it’s nowhere as uncomfortable to watch as the Chinese New Year sketch, and the Sweeney medley is a bit stronger this time out.

  • Written by Nora Dunn, Jan Hooks, and Marc Shaiman.

  • Rerun alterations: None.

***

COMMERCIAL: THE HUSTLER OF MONEY

  • Paul Newman (John Mahoney) and Tom Cruise (Ben Stiller) star in Martin Scorsese’s film about high-stakes bowling.

  • An outside acquisition parodying last year’s The Color of Money, which Newman won the Oscar for the Sunday before this aired. Ben Stiller’s flaky Tom Cruise impression is fun, as is a pre-Frasier John Mahoney turning up as Paul Newman (complete with references to his salad dressing and car racing).

  • Stiller’s parents Jerry and Anne Meara appear, as well as grandfather William, Nina Tremblay, Julie Hagerty, and Danny Aiello (“Gentlemen…roll your balls!”).

  • The version that aired on SNL is edited somewhat; the full short is available on YouTube.

  • Written and directed by Ralph Glenn Howard, Steve Klayman, and Ben Stiller.

  • Stiller would join the cast of SNL two years later as a featured player, though his tenure was short-lived; he actually appeared in more episodes cameoing as Michael Cohen in 2018-19 than he did while in the cast.

  • Rerun alterations: Audio remixed; audience noise removed until ending applause.

*** 1/2

SKETCH: THE SLAVE DRIVERS

  • Architect (Charlton Heston) debriefs the men responsible for goading the slaves during the pyramids’ construction.

  • This grew on me; it is a little sluggishly paced at times, but it’s a good premise, and the performances are strong (I particularly liked Hooks as the on-site prostitute).

  • Rerun alterations: Mild audience sweetening. Small edit as Heston opens the blinds for Jon Lovitz and Nora Dunn.

***

MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: “JUAN (E. MUSTAAD)”

  • A faster-paced and more playful number; again, some great playing here. I think this was just something they played in their live sets, because it only appears on the Live at Blues Alley album.

  • Rerun alterations: None.

MISCELLANEOUS: UNLV

  • Kevin Nealon clarifies the point of “The New Paper Chase” in response to viewer calls.

  • This seems like a filler piece to kill time because something had to be cut last-minute (I’m guessing the Buster Poindexter number), but for what it was, it was funny.

  • Rerun alterations: None.

GOODNIGHTS

  • Charlton Heston calls this week one of the happiest experiences of his life, saying “I hadn’t done anything like this since the old Sid Caesar days, and this is better.”

  • Don Pardo announces an encore presentation of Rosanna Arquette / Ric Ocasek (“which was great”) and the next live show with John Lithgow and Anita Baker (“I bet that show will be a doozy!”).

  • Rerun alterations: Audience noise and Pardo voiceover removed.

Final thoughts: A pretty good show, though largely boosted by a classic installment of Church Chat and some continued fun with the televangelist scandals. Heston was a decent host; not quite getting down and dirty, but managing to get laughs with his dignified bearing. The second half is a bit weaker; not bad, but the Brookfield Zoo Banquet and Slave Drivers sketches fell a little short. Wynton Marsalis was fantastic, though, and his and Heston’s presence gave the show a bit of an early years feel.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS:

  • Church Chat

  • Oral Roberts University

  • The Hustler of Money

  • The Fruiting

  • The New Paper Chase

  • Weekend Update

  • The President Has Mustard On His Chin

SHOW LOWLIGHTS:

  • (none)

MVP:

  • (tie) Phil Hartman / Jan Hooks

CAST & GUEST BREAKDOWN:

cast

  • Dana Carvey: 3 appearances [The New Paper Chase, Church Chat, The Slave Drivers]

  • Nora Dunn: 3 appearances [The Fruiting, Brookfield Zoo Banquet, The Slave Drivers]

  • Phil Hartman: 6 appearances [Oral Roberts University, The Fruiting, The New Paper Chase, Church Chat, The President Has Mustard On His Chin, Brookfield Zoo Banquet]; 2 voiceovers [Church Chat, The Slave Drivers]

  • Jan Hooks: 4 appearances [Oral Roberts University, Church Chat, Brookfield Zoo Banquet, The Slave Drivers]

  • Victoria Jackson: 3 appearances [The New Paper Chase, Weekend Update, Brookfield Zoo Banquet]

  • Jon Lovitz: 4 appearances [The New Paper Chase, The President Has Mustard On His Chin, Brookfield Zoo Benefit, The Slave Drivers]

  • Dennis Miller: 3 appearances [Weekend Update, Brookfield Zoo Banquet, The Slave Drivers]

featured players

  • A. Whitney Brown: 1 appearance [Brookfield Zoo Benefit]

  • Kevin Nealon: 4 appearances [The New Paper Chase, The President Has Mustard On His Chin, The Slave Drivers, UNLV]

unbilled crew, extras, and bit players

  • Joe Forristal: 1 appearance [Brookfield Zoo Benefit]

  • Brian McConnachie: 1 appearance [The Slave Drivers]

  • Don Pardo: 3 voiceovers [The New Paper Chase, Weekend Update, The Slave Drivers]

G.E. Smith and the Saturday Night Live Band

  • Cheryl Hardwick: 1 appearance [Brookfield Zoo Banquet]

guests

  • Charlton Heston: 6 appearances [Oral Roberts University, Monologue, The New Paper Chase, The President Has Mustard On His Chin, Brookfield Zoo Banquet, The Slave Drivers]

  • Wynton Marsalis: 2 appearances [“J Mood”, “Juan (E. Mustaad)”]

  • Don Braden: 2 appearances [“J Mood”, “Juan (E. Mustaad)”]

  • Bob Hurst: 2 appearances [“J Mood”, “Juan (E. Mustaad)”]

  • Marcus Roberts: 2 appearances [“J Mood”, “Juan (E. Mustaad)”]

  • Jeff Watts: 2 appearances [“J Mood”, “Juan (E. Mustaad)”]

  • Danny Aiello: 1 appearance [The Hustler of Money]

  • Julie Hagerty: 1 appearance [The Hustler of Money]

  • John Mahoney: 1 appearance [The Hustler of Money]

  • Anne Meara: 1 appearance [The Hustler of Money]

  • Ben Stiller: 1 appearance [The Hustler of Money]

  • Jerry Stiller: 1 appearance [The Hustler of Money]

  • Nina Tremblay: 1 appearance [The Hustler of Money]

REBROADCAST HISTORY:

  • June 27, 1987

  • August 6, 1988

Known alterations:

  • Edits: The New Paper Chase, Church Chat, The President Has Mustard On His Chin, The Slave Drivers

  • Dress substitutions: Oral Roberts University (part), opening theme, Monologue (Heston’s entrance), The New Paper Chase (one shot), Church Chat (one shot)

  • Audio remixing: The Fruiting, Church Chat, Weekend Update, The Hustler of Money

  • Audience sweetening: The Slave Drivers (mild)

Additional screen captures from this episode are available here.