Why I haven't been blogging, explanation 39
/I went about two months without a post on this site; my energy's been all over the place lately, and I often don't have the amount of focus that I feel I need to do anything particularly well. There are a number of things I'm doing or want to be doing these days, some more important than others, but for the last few months I've been short on resources (financially, yes, but more in terms of time and energy) and have been more concerned with maintaining a sort of "status quo" with my life than moving it forward.
There's a lot in Halifax that could be blog fodder, but most of the time I prefer to stay home, cuddle with the cat, and maybe watch something on TV or Netflix. I also feel like this scattered mindset's caused me to pull back from engaging with the world around me: the amount of time I spend of social media compared to the amount of time I use it to actively communicate with others is a little lopsided, but in this state, I don't feel like I have enough to say or the energy to sustain a conversation.
Aside from the portrait shoots this month (the second shoot still needs to be edited), I admit I haven't been out with the camera as much as I should be, nor have I been going through my old shots to try to build other galleries for the page. I don't know if I need to feel like I have a valid excuse to take the camera out, but it always feels a little more justified when I have a sitting booked; a lot of the times when I take the camera on excursions, I don't really have much of a plan, don't feel satisfied with the pictures I take, and by the time I go home, it's just an expensive thing in a bag that's a pain to lug around.
Selling the engagement photos was a boost, but I really need to think more about how many hours a week I waste that could be put towards serious portfolio building work, and figure out what my specific goals as a photographer are (aside from making a little more money). Until I really have a full portfolio or better developed skills/goals, I think I may do a limited number of free shoots for the time being (or accepting beer and food as payment).
The writing's taken a backseat to my day job, hunting for a more permanent position, volunteering, resting, and the photography (not necessarily in that order). I've also hit another block a few months ago, but instead of writing through it, I figured the other stuff takes precedence for now. The half-hour bus rides to and from work are a good chance to catch up on my reading, though, and I probably could stand to do a little more of that before the next time I open up the Word with the story fragments I've already written.
A few weeks ago, a friend and I discussed how you have to spend so much time doing certain things before you can really master them, and the importance of actively blocking off that time to work on them. I need to take inventory of how I use my time and figure out where to devote it.
