Hangover

I think I have a little bit of a post-travelling comedown, where I'm thinking a lot about where I want to go next but realizing I can't afford to really go anywhere for a while. In the weeks since I've come back to Halifax, I've found myself checking out the price of airfare to different places and asking people on social media whether solo travel is better than having a companion (team "companion" won by a little bit). But all that is still a long way away; I'm trying to be financially responsible now that I have a decent income, and while I finally have vacation time, I want to be able to make it count. Aside from trips to visit family in New Brunswick, the only real travel I've embarked on since moving to Halifax in 2012 were the two whirlwind vacations to New York; I want to take a longer trip somewhere, preferably a place I've never been before. I'd like to see Europe one day and have still yet to visit Alberta, British Columbia or Newfoundland, but I'm also considering Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa, Winnipeg or Regina as potential travel destinations. All that's a while away, though; I just want to see if I can pay down some debt and build some sort of savings instead of spending money on things to distract me from my boredom.

I find it easier to write when travelling; it seems to unclog something that lodges inside me during my everyday life. 

I've been trying to bring myself to try new cafes and restaurants in Halifax, but sometimes I think the time and money I'd spend with each exploration would be more wisely spent if I actually bothered to invite someone else to come with me. I realize there's nothing wrong with heading to a spot alone, but there's still the nagging sense that I just look awkward or sad if I'm there on my own, and I'm cutting into the financial, time and sociability budgets I could be using on getting to know people better. There's nobody to distract me from taking in the experience, but I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts to just live in the moment.

I had a small get-together on the 6th; no special event other than to force myself to make plans to spend time out of the apartment, but it was good to get out and have some food and drinks with friends (and actually meet one in the real world). It took me a few days to recover; not so much from the beer and food, but the social aspect of it seemed to lay me low for a few days afterward. This wasn't even a spontaneous thing; whenever I'm the one making plans, I tend to try to set it up as far as I can in advance, cast as wide a net as possible when inviting people, reserve a space for whoever comes and hope I have enough room. Maybe this is overcompensation for withdrawing from people, maybe I'm more interested in getting the people I know in separate orbits together, or maybe it's just my fear of rejection. When someone randomly invites me to hang out one-on-one, I'm fairly likely to accept, but I rarely initiate spontaneous hangs.

That's pretty much it for me at the moment, but to end on a more interesting topic, one of my favorite people in the world (Genevieve) built a boat and is rowing the Inside Passage from Salt Spring Island, BC to Haines, AK. There's a great interview with her over at Off Grid Writing where she talks about her journey so far.

(Oh, and fill out the reader poll if you haven't so far; I like learning more about who is actually reading these posts).

My habit tracker in my bullet journal