Radio silence and watched pots

I took a short break from social media last weekend; I’m not sure what specifically triggered it, but when I made a deliberate choice not to check in on my feeds, it felt good. I decided to take another hiatus from starting after work today and lasting until the morning of the 23rd. I haven’t felt like I had enough focus, motivation or energy lately (and definitely wasn’t using it to be social), so I hope this will help with that and let me find my voice again.

I’m leaving Facebook Messenger on my phone because family members use that to check in, but I also appreciate e-mails (bjdwsm@gmail.com) or text messages (not posting my number here, sorry).

My birthday was quiet; I wanted it that way. I wasn’t up to any big social gathering and decided to use the afternoon after work to browse CDs. I can spend an annoying amount of time in a record store, and there’s something about the activity of flipping through whatever selection is in stock that calms me, even if I don’t end up buying anything. I still bought a few things, but in case anyone wants to get me a belated gift, I have some Amazon wishlists set up (now divided by category: CDs, apartment stuff, books, DVDs and Blu-Rays, and vinyl). Not that I really expect people to do it, but surprises are nice.

There really isn’t a whole lot to talk about other than that. Maybe that’s why the social media feeds suck away so much energy; I keep refreshing and scrolling just in case something is going to relight whatever’s been dormant for the last little while, but all I get out of it is a string of depressing news (most of it about politics) and stuff where I really have nothing to add to the conversation. It also feels like the switch in my brain that decides whether to reach out or not is stuck on “nope” and I don’t really know why. I also decided to stop with the daily selfie after 100 days because everything was starting to feel samey and like an obligation at best, a cheap attention-getting ploy at worst.

I still plan on working on the SNL reviews, and hope that taking away this mindless compulsion frees up a little more time to do so. Other than that, I’m just going to try to do what I feel like doing and not have to worry about how that will look to the world.