I’m on the bus. It’s too early to be human and I haven’t had my coffee yet so I don’t really want to do much; maybe read or listen to music, things that help tune out the other people or the monotony of the commute. When I leave the suburbs, it's usually dark. I sometimes look out the windows, but more to see how far I’ve traveled than at anything interesting. By the time I arrive downtown, I can see the sun coming up over the harbour.
Read MoreI had to take a break from the personal blog last week because I was feeling a little worn down again. I think it’s a combination of a few things: overload from the news cycle, overwhelming feelings (some of which I decided to finally book an appointment with a therapist to figure out), and the time change making it dark by the time I head home (I’ve always been affected by this time of year).
Read MoreOne:
I don't know if I've ever been in love, but this may be the closest thing to it I've ever experienced.
Two:
I worry that the ground shifted in our friendship; there is a distance between us that wasn't there.
Three:
I use the word attraction to describe whatever it was I began feeling about you, but I don't even know how accurate that word is for the mess I've found myself in.
Read MoreI wrote this about two years ago. Relationships were on my mind at the time as a few of my friends had gone through breakups the previous fall; as much as I was trying to keep things vague in the post, I was also trying to work through some of my own feelings by writing about them, still blindsided and conflicted over the automatic neurochemical reactions I kept experiencing with a specific person a while back (part of the equation: for the first time in at least 10 years, it was a woman). As far as I know, nothing was going to come of it, but I still try to keep the number of real-world interactions to a minimum because I don't want any involuntary emotions leaking out.
Read MoreIt’s the middle of the night. I look through my idle Facebook conversations, trying to decide if it’s worth sending a message this late. I still haven’t fully embraced that feature, ever since it switched from an internal e-mail system to a real-time chat engine; unless I’m comfortable enough to drop random Simpsons references into conversation or just randomly send YouTube links, I tend to fret over my choice of words and hang nervously waiting for the response. It’s worse when it’s someone with whom I have an easier real-world rapport than normal.
I usually don’t bother, though. I assume you’re asleep anyway.
Read MoreI tell myself I need to update this blog more often than I do.
Read MorePersonal website of photographer and writer Bronwyn Douwsma.
I’m on the bus. It’s too early to be human and I haven’t had my coffee yet so I don’t really want to do much; maybe read or listen to music, things that help tune out the other people or the monotony of the commute. When I leave the suburbs, it's usually dark. I sometimes look out the windows, but more to see how far I’ve traveled than at anything interesting. By the time I arrive downtown, I can see the sun coming up over the harbour.
The year is winding down. I’m preparing to go to New Brunswick for my regular Christmas visit with the family; my travel arrangements up there have all been taken care of. I haven’t bothered with Christmas shopping yet; my cash flow was a little tight until my last paycheque came in, and my tolerance for the malls has dropped over the years. Everything costs too much money now.
“Midnight Express Special” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Basic Photography”, “Mamorex Video Tape”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: Tomorrow, Today, Tonight”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Message From Guy: Midnight Express Special”, and “Midnight Express Special”.
“Cookery Crock” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Disasters In The Home”, “Nasex Nasal Deodorant”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: The Freddie De Cordova Show”, “Cookery Crock” and “Quincy: Cartoon Coroner”.
“Two-Way TV” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Astrology”, “Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre”, “Kanadian Korner”, “SCTV News”, “Comment with David Brinkley”, “Promo: Cruisin’ Gourmet”, “Two-Way TV”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Promo: Crazy Crafts”, and “Sermonette: Rabbi Karlov”.
“Alpha Channel” sketches include “Gordon Lightfoot Sings Every Song Ever Written”, “Cooking With Marcello”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Crazy Crafts”, “Message From Guy: Alpha Channel”, “Promo: Alpha Channel”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, and “Dialing For Dollars”.
“The Irwin Allen Show” sketches include “Men On Women”, “Message From Guy: Men On Women”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Cooking With Marcello”, “Promo: Taxi Driver”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Message From Guy: The Irwin Allen Show”, and “The Irwin Allen Show”.
“Big Brother” sketches include “Got A Minute?”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: Taxi Driver”, “Message From Guy: The New Year”, “Message From Prickley: The New Year”, “SCTV New Year’s Eve Party 1983”, “Komrade Kangaroo”, “Comrade Allen”, “Promo: Doublethink”, and “The Praise Big Brother Show”.
“Star Wars” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Do-It-Yourself Advertising”, “Promo: Chick Monk: Roadie For The Defense”, “Kanadian Korner”, “SCTV News”, “Joni Mitchell’s For Dogs Only”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “SCTV Premiere: Star Wars”, and “Dialing For Dollars”.
“Hollywood Salutes Its Extras” sketches include “Message From Prickley: Extras”, “Mamorex Cassette Tape”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Promo: Taxi Driver”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Howard’s Bristol Cream”, “Sneak Previews”, “Promo: Hawaii Five-Ho”, “Hollywood Salutes Its Extras”, and “Promo: White Man, Black Girl”.
There’s a podcast called The Loudest Girl In The World, hosted by Lauren Ober. The show concerns Ober’s autism diagnosis at 42, as well as her experience dealing with this information and opening up to others about it. When I listened to it last summer, I related pretty heavily to what she was talking about. I’ve also started to make peace with how my own brain works in the last few years. It’s been a rough road, though.