30 in 30: Day 18
/I use the "like" button on various social media sites as a half-assed way to connect with other people. I've call this the "passive like", where you want to acknowledge the post or just say hello, but you just don't have the energy or words to type a comment or response. Likes are empty calories. I need to stop this pattern, or at least hit like more judiciously and try to comment instead. Elan Morgan (aka Schmutzie) wrote a great article a while back about how she decided to stop reflexively hitting the "like" button on Facebook. I may have tried to do that a while back, only to regress back to the instinctual clicking of the button. Do I really think I'm actually interacting with people this way? It's like going to the convenience store for a chocolate bar, bag of chips and can of pop instead of taking the time to put together a more filling meal.
I worry that I can't really think of anything to say to people anymore. I supposed that's another danger of sharing thoughts and feelings on so many different outlets. Everything has to be so watered down and generalized. I keep meaning to write people letters, but what's my motivation in doing this: the act of sharing pent-up thoughts and emotions, or the hope of a response?
I have to ask myself what my aspirations and motivations are for my writing and photography. Am I trying to say anything, or am I more driven by the idea of gaining access to certain circles and communities? On some level, am I merely seeking validation for whatever I put out at the expense of authentic self-expression? I'm sometimes afraid everything I put out is just quick crayon drawings of different things I see and like.
There’s a podcast called The Loudest Girl In The World, hosted by Lauren Ober. The show concerns Ober’s autism diagnosis at 42, as well as her experience dealing with this information and opening up to others about it. When I listened to it last summer, I related pretty heavily to what she was talking about. I’ve also started to make peace with how my own brain works in the last few years. It’s been a rough road, though.