Giving up on SNL

I've been watching SNL regularly for about 20 years.  I still have my original tapes from when I first started recording the show back in March 1994; in fact, I can tell you that the first episode I taped was a rerun of the show with John Malkovich and Billy Joel.  I've stuck with the show through that horrible season with Janeane Garofalo.  I've seen the historically bad years that almost got the show cancelled.  I've sat through that godawful 10 minute sketch with the sub at the bottom of the ocean.  None of these low points has made me want to give up on the show as much as this current season has.  

Last month, I wrote that I mainly watch the show out of a routine I can no longer justify to myself.  I was originally going to pack it in at that point, but held out hope that the next four shows would show some flicker of life that's been noticeably absent this year.  That would not be the case.

Josh Hutcherson was dull.  Paul Rudd had cameos and a Bill Brasky sketch, but weak writing pretty much everywhere else.  John Goodman's long-overdue return to SNL had more tepid writing, plus a sketch starring Sylvester Stallone and Robert DeNiro that felt like a rejected script from a bad Bob Hope special; the kind of sketch that SNL would make fun of when it spoofed bad variety shows.

The Jimmy Fallon show that aired last night was a bit more fun than the show's been in a while: Fallon has come a long way since he was the messy-haired new kid 15 years ago, and his collaborations with Justin Timberlake guaranteed several fan favorites would be trotted out.  That said, so much of the show felt like pandering: Paula Pell's Dancing Mascot sketches doesn't do much for me (it just feels too by-the-numbers and obligatory), and the cameos by Paul McCartney, Madonna, Barry Gibb and Michael Bloomberg felt like they were intended to distract from how lifeless the writing is on the show.  The episode came off as self-congratulatory towards Lorne Michaels' takeover of NBC late night.; an extended commercial for The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, if you will.

It's not that the show is actually terrible: a truly bad year would at least be interesting.  Yet, more than ever this season, it feels like the show's on auto-pilot.  There's no need for the show to try anymore; it's one of the few relative successes NBC has left, so there's no impending cancellation to force the show to correct course.

Sketch comedy shows by their very nature are uneven, and even SNL's best seasons have had their dud shows.  This season feels different; I don't think "mediocre" is the right word, though, because even something mediocre can have an appreciable effort behind it.  The six new faces added to the show in the wake of the recent departures of Bill Hader, Fred Armisen and Jason Sudeikis just feel purely cosmetic; only a mask to cover stagnant and lazy writing.

The cast has too much potential that's not being used properly.  Taran Killam and Kate McKinnon are in a class by themselves on the show, and could potentially carry a new era of the show, but they're weighed down by so many people who have overstayed their welcome.  The move to make Kenan Thompson the cast anchor (a la Hader or Sudeikis) is baffling; Thompson doesn't have the range to pull off that role in the cast, and he's already demonstrated everything he's capable of as a performer years ago.

The real dead weight is in the writers' room.  There are 23 writers on staff this year, including Lorne Michaels, who always gets a credit.  Steve Higgins and Paula Pell have been with the show since the last big changeover in 1995 (Pell is part-time); their tenure with the show is longer than those of the original writers who were still with the show before Michaels cleaned house.  James Anderson has been around since 2000; he and frequent collaborator Kent Sublette seem to be the writing staff's equivalent of Kenan Thompson, in that they recycle their bag of tricks and that their output tends to annoy more than amuse.  There are a handful of prolific and talented newer writers (Zach Kanin, Sarah Schneider and Chris Kelly) and a fair bit of turnover in the staff over the last five years: the only trouble with this is that it's the newer writers that leave, while the veterans stick around and churn out the same old material.

I need a break from the show.  I've come to the conclusion that I'm getting too frustrated by SNL this season to justify watching live anymore; until some non-superficial changes are made to the creative side of the show, I'm not going to be tuning in.  Whatever's worth checking out will be on the internet the next day (unless it has a music clearance issue).  

My original plan was to finish the 1982-83 season reviews, but I think I'm going to take a break from those as well.  I'll try to resume those in a few months.

The 50 Best and 50 Worst Episodes of SNL

Since the May 7 show with Tina Fey is going to be live show #700, I want to make a list of the 50 best and the 50 worst shows, and post it the day of the live broadcast. I'd love to see everyone's picks for these. If you can reply to this post or email me your picks (please send to bjdwsmATgmailDOTcom) I will count your submissions in the final rankings. This should be interesting, especially if there are any trends with regard to what season the shows are from.

You don't have to send me a full 50 in your submission but do try to include a good number of shows in your message, and make sure that these are the best of the best and the worst of the worst in your opinion. Rationale will also be considered and the best comments will also make it to the listing of the top and bottom 10.  I will be posting the final results here, as well as on several SNL message boards I frequent.

Deadline for submission is May 5 at 11:59 pm

Head Of The Class

Mr. Moore (Howard Hesseman) demonstrates that a mullet on a teacher was actually once socially acceptable in the 1980s.

I found a bunch of old Head Of The Class tapes. It's more of a guilty pleasure than anything: the scripts were pretty weak, some of the actors playing students were 30+ years old, and for supposedly smart kids they sure stayed around in high school far too long.  Some of the most cringeworthy aspects to the show were the unironic rat-tail, and later mullet, that Hesseman's character Mr. Moore sported, and I can't suspend my disbelief long enough to buy that high school students (even an honors program) would have the ability to come up with a video for the time capsule that used state-of-the-art-for-1987 computer effects set to the tune of Timbuk 3's "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades" (an exercise in cheese).

Recurring characters Manfred (John Cameron Mitchell) and Monica (Kirsten Holmquist) performing "White Boys" in a style that presages the singing music teachers from SNL

For a mid-level sitcom shot on tape, though, it was at least decent at least for the first four years.  It did go downhill when Howard Hesseman was replaced by Billy Connolly, mainly because Connolly's character didn't so much teach as go on extended comedic tangents (just imagine if they couldn't find a teacher at a real high school and they just had Craig Ferguson rant for an hour).  I am surprised how many recognizable guest stars I've spotted on the show, though, mainly Elaine Stritch, Stephen Root, Roscoe Lee Browne, Lori Petty (Tank Girl), John Cameron Mitchell (Hedwig and the Angry Inch), Kirsten Kemp Becker (then known as Kirsten Holmquist, Property Ladder), and Brad Pitt (tabloids).  They also had a few interesting episodes based around the cast doing a musical theatre production which actually incorporate the "opening night performances" (based on the episodes' individual writing credits, the shows creators Rich Eustis and Michael Elias had a thing for musical theatre), and were the first American sitcom to shoot in the Soviet Union, giving what was generally a mid-level sitcom added notability.

I doubt the show will be heading to DVD season sets anytime soon because music licensing is a big hurdle, at least for the musical episodes, and there likely isn't a strong enough market for it to justify the cost.  Part of the reason a lot of worse and shorter-lived shows are on DVD is because they can make money back on those (which explains why Small Wonder is actually getting a DVD release).  It wasn't great by any stretch of the imagination but I am having fun watching my old tapes again as I transfer them to disc (and removing countless ads for 1-809 sex lines that used to run late at night on CKY-Winnipeg, but that's better as the subject for another post).

The students included one of Tony Soprano's mistresses (top row centre), the men responsible for the career of Kenan Thompson (top row left), and the victim of Tobias Funke's glitter basket (bottom row centre).

Celebrity Hungry Hungry Hippos: A Review

This was originally posted on an SNL message board: I had originally written this as a potential sketch but got bored when actually coming up with dialogue.  I actually think this works better in a review form.  

Just in case there's any confusion, this is not a real show.  This does not have the endorsement of any of the actors depicted herein nor that of the FOX television network.  Furthermore, I don't think they would allow the suggestion at the end to be published.

The reality TV phenomenon has rightly been blasted for lowering the bar of what is considered entertainment, and it was only a matter of time before it reached yet another nadir. Such new depths were plunged Wednesday night with the premiere of what appeared to be the result of letting a mentally incompetent 6-year-old choose the next cheap unscripted show, FOX’s monstrosity Celebrity Hungry Hungry Hippos.

I’ll admit there was a glimmer of hope that this would not be as painful as what the networks have been subjecting us to lately; unlike many other pointless celebrity competitions, this show’s pool of celebrities are not the same overexposed has-beens who populate every other reality show. In fact, much of the reality genre’s target audience would have a hard time placing the four contestants from the premiere episode, most of them long retired from acting: Jan Smithers (Bailey Quarters, WKRP), Sagan Lewis (Dr. Jacqueline Wade, St. Elsewhere), Frank Cady (Sam Drucker, Green Acres), and the then-young man with the blonde hair who was a frequent extra in The Mary Tyler Moore Show, whose name the producers of CHHH didn’t even bother to give. Although it was welcome to see some long absent faces again, I have a feeling this celebrity lineup was chosen due to a combination of an inability to draw bigger names, called favours, blackmail, bribery, and even kidnapping.

Only the 93-year-old Cady seemed like he genuinely wanted to play, as when introducing himself he remarked that even though he’s worked with Alfred Hitchcock and has costarred in a beloved TV show, his real life’s ambition was to “whoop some behind at Hungry Hungry Hippos”. It was less clear why Smithers and Lewis were playing. Lewis appeared confused and disoriented throughout, at various points denying her resemblance to one of the characters on House and stating that it was her understanding that the contestants would be playing with real hippos. Smithers was for the most part diplomatic, although several times in the show it was apparent she was not too happy with appearing on the show. This became apparent after the host made some insensitive comments regarding her being “the one that wasn’t Loni Anderson” on her old show, and ignorantly asking about her “brother” Waylon. The extra, apparently appearing under duress, made several unsuccessful escape attempts throughout the game.

It would have helped if they found a charming and affable host. Unfortunately, the best the producers could come up with was Dave Coulier. Smithers was the most visibly annoyed at the former “Full House” co-star, at one point threatening him “Watch it, Stamos.” In what had to be the most uncomfortable moment in an entire show of them, Coulier admitted that he wished he was John Stamos, followed by almost 30 seconds of silent staring between all parties. Making matters worse, Coulier evidently had not been briefed on the rules of the game and after the fifth fallacy regarding gameplay, had to be screamed at by an off-camera voice.

There were myriad other problems with the production. The show was apparently shot with a nonexistent budget on either a poorly lit set or an unfurnished basement (investigations into the matter were inconclusive), with the actual board game resting on a card table with its short leg propped up by a book. In the most egregious example of a lack of planning on their part, the network did not bother to ensure that the game had all the marbles. As the contestants were notified of the situation, Cady tried to keep order but Smithers wasted no time in socking Lewis in the jaw, and the extra tried to use the distraction to make a break for it. Whether or not this incident was staged to create conflict is up for debate, but I doubt the producers would have had the talent to properly stage something.

All the ineptitude of the production aside, the gameplay itself was rather dull due to the obvious nature of the strategy, eating the most marbles. If not for the revelation that Cady was cheating at the game (at one point hiding his opponents marbles in his mouth), and Lewis continually consoling her plastic hippo (dubbed “Freckles”) it would have been an otherwise uneventful game; clearly not something with a lot of inherent drama. However, the show continued to invent new levels of awfulness, particularly in the awarding of the game prizes: the main prize (ostensibly to be donated to charity) was a gift certificate for McDonald's, while the runner up received the book propping the game table’s leg up; adding insult to injury, this book was Coulier’s unpublished memoir Cut It Out. By this point in the game, Coulier had used his catchphrase so many times Smithers threatened to cut him if he didn’t stop saying it. Even after the threat, Coulier could not resist.

At this point the show descended into chaos: Smithers hit Coulier with the book while Lewis grabbed the hippo from the board and attacked him, screaming “Get ‘im Freckles!” The extra managed to escape, and in the midst of what was happening around him, Cady began shoveling marbles into his pockets. At this point the videotape mercifully cuts out.

Surprisingly, considering the issues regarding the hippo and the table leg, several other episodes have been taped, although I don’t know what FOX would be trying to prove by airing them besides its utter contempt for people with any of the five senses.

If anyone is given the choice of watching this show or shoving their face into a moving propeller, I would suggest they think hard for a minute, then run face first into the blades. It’s a sacrifice I believe the sane would make, as they wouldn't have the lingering memory of having watched this show.

On Michael Jackson

I'd like to add my voice to the din reacting to the death of Michael Jackson.  I don't get CNN at home but I did manage to catch a few minutes of the incessant coverage.  I have a feeling they will be covering a sensationalistic event like this nonstop, while in the "other news we don't give a shit about" ticker, we'll see something about bin Laden's body or the cure for AIDS being found.   It's just a fact of life in today's world.

Farrah Fawcett died the same day, but her impending death had been something that was obvious and expected.  Whatever state Jackson was in the past few years, the story came suddenly and out of the blue.  The resulting outpour of grief has been compared to what happened with Elvis Presley and John Lennon.  Lennon was a much more brutal loss considering the sheer awfulness of the circumstances, but Elvis, like Jackson, was this larger than life figure whose biggest successes were behind him and in later years was a mess, a clear shadow of his youthful self until his body gave out on a random hot muggy day.  Others have noted the eerie parallels between the two Kings: I wonder if there's going to be a cottage industry of Michael Jackson impersonators and alleged sightings.

A lot of the discussion of Michael Jackson has to include his bizarre behavior in the second half of his life, particularly the accusations of child molestation.  If he did actually do what a lot of people say he did, there is no excuse.  I'll have to admit that the two similar scandals ten years apart doesn't really work out in his favour, but I can't ultimately judge Michael Jackson in the same light as someone like Gary Glitter.  There was a bit of a naivite to Michael Jackson: he didn't really seem to fully comprehend how some of his actions looked to society.  He was pitiful at times.  There were a lot of things in his life that would have contributed to the collapse of his mental state.  In a way the Michael Jackson of Off The Wall and Thriller had already died around 1984.  Not that his later scandals have completely eclipsed his early triumphs, though: I doubt OJ Simpson is going to get the same reaction if he were suddenly to drop dead.

That said, the first thing I thought of when I heard the news was "I wonder what kind of hilariously inappropriate joke Andrew's going to come up with".  After David Carradine was found dead, my friend posted that he never knew David Carradine was an INXS/Michael Hutchence fan.  I've heard some good ones in the last few days, mainly focusing on his penchant for being surrounded by young boys.  I was then reminded of all the other jokes about him over the past 16 years and whether we can watch them in the same light again, knowing the conclusion to the story.  Stuff like Norm MacDonald's "Michael Jackson may be a child molester, but he's no song stealer" bit, or the many Clutch Cargo bits on Conan. 

I don't own any Michael Jackson music.  Yet for all his eccentricity, his massive, massive contributions to entertainment can't be ignored.  He was the biggest thing going in the eighties and so many people are familiar with the songs, the videos, the moonwalk, that his death has created a void.  That the 25th anniversary edition of an album most everyone had already, by someone who was written off as a wacko at best, sexual predator at worst, still ended up being the best selling catalog album of 2008 speaks volumes.  The music industry is so fractured now that someone being as big a figure as Michael Jackson in terms of talent and popularity is just not going to happen.  That Jackson died so suddenly only sealed his legend.

When other legendary music figures die, will the reaction be as huge as with Michael Jackson?  There are still people with greater contributions to the world of music, and there are still big stars, but the chances of a big jolt like this grow smaller as they grow older.  A friend of mine believes that whenever Bob Dylan passes, though his contribution to culture was incalculable  it will be almost anti-climactic because he has become myth ages ago.  But like Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson's notoriety was so far-reaching and ubiquitous, transcendent of a lot of barriers.  The music industry has changed so much that a universal figure like that isn't possible anymore. 

In the end, though, it's just another dead famous person, and despite the media coverage indicating otherwise, there are other things in the world to do.  There are other easy targets for jokes, and there is music I prefer listening to over his anyway.

It's Official

No matter what gender or orientation they are, most people think Bailey was the hotter of the two female WKRP characters, not Jennifer.