Social Distancing Diaries: March 25

I hope everyone reading this is doing alright. I know this self-isolation hasn’t been too big an adjustment from my regular lifestyle, but I see a lot of my friends are going a little bit shack-wacky and feeling lonely, disconnected and anxious. If you’re reading this and feeling this way, your feelings are valid and I see you.

Maybe my relatively easy shift into these weird times is a sign I'm used to these feelings. I'm lucky in that I prefer to stay in, but I'm wondering if my relative calm about the pandemic is more because it's another thing outside my own control than a lack of actual worry. Don't get me wrong, the number of confirmed cases and related deaths is awful, but I find myself more upset at the people using this crisis to continue to be callous, horrible people willing to sacrifice millions of lives in order to get a political “win" or keep the tiniest fraction of their obscene wealth. I can't be surprised by that anymore, I guess, nor can I when the racist old coot who writes letters to his city newspaper has the same view, even though he has nothing to gain and everything to lose in the pandemic.

I don't know if I would participate in a group video chat or something like this. I'm glad the technology exists (I had a video appointment via Facebook Messenger the other day), but it all feels a little overwhelming. I think I feel more connected when people write or message me one-on-one; I have to feel like people want to make the effort to contact me because I'm afraid that efforts on my part will come off as needy or invasive. I just assume I don't really figure in people’s minds much when I'm not around; it always surprises me when people mention that they were talking with others about me.

Work and the routine it provides helps, but to be honest, I had wanted some time to slow down for a while. It just never really felt like I had enough time or energy to do much after I got home from work. Taking the commute out of the picture helps, as does the fact that my current job isn't about getting so many applications processed a day or calls handled within so many minutes; even at the office I had a lot of time to just go around the office and chat with co-workers. I can do other things while working from home, but right now I’m trying to allow myself to not need to feel like a day is wasted if I don't do anything but my job.

My birthday is a week from tomorrow. I'll probably order something from delivery, check in on my Facebook messages, and so forth. Maybe buy myself some kind of dessert as well. I know it may be gauche to put this out there, but if you feel like getting me something off my Amazon wish lists, it would be certainly be appreciated (sorted into separate categories for easier navigation: Music, DVDs and Blu-Rays, Books, Vinyl). Even if you don’t get me anything, e-mails are always welcome.

How are you all feeling, and what are you all doing to keep busy? As always, take care of yourselves.