Nine Snowboots
Social Distancing Diaries: April 22
I’m sitting at my laptop on a Wednesday night after taking a nap that lasted a little longer than it should have. I had a dream involving a trip to Winnipeg (which was much bigger and nicer than I remembered), watching an SNL episode that was completely different than the real thing, and trying to escape from a house where I inadvertently crashed a party. Fun times.
Social Distancing Diaries: April 19
Before we begin, I don’t really have the words to say anything about the tragedy that just happened in Nova Scotia other than that it was awful.
Doing what I can
Writing is hard.
Writing is particularly hard when you’re lost in your own head. It’s hard to get much of anything done in that state, but to have to put a coherent string of words together is particularly challenging, especially when you purport to represent your inner self in your writing.
The mid-January blahs
Two weeks into 2020. I’m exhausted.
It’s not just the news cycle, even if everything about Australia, Iran, Trump, Putin, and the Democratic primaries made these two weeks seem like years in themselves. Winter’s always triggered my depression and this year is no different; it also doesn’t help that I caught a bit of a cold last week.
The continuing adventures
The darker days have been making it harder for me to wake up lately.
Sleep or something like it
Not much exciting going on these days; winter still has me mainly seeking warm apartments and minimizing time outside. The last few days brought a snow storm and freezing rain that turned my apartment building’s driveway into an impassable frozen hazard for a few hours, and this morning brought bitterly cold wind. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been so tired in the last little while.
Back to myself, whatever that means
As expected, I slept the weekend away and didn’t concern myself with getting anything posted while I recovered from whatever it was that was laying me low last week.
Two coffee day
This week seemingly went by pretty fast, at least compared to last week, but I was pretty tired for most of the day (even after a second coffee); I went home immediately after work, and crashed for two hours after I got in the apartment. I know I don’t get enough sleep most nights, but this morning I had more trouble getting started than usual.
A strange dream I just had
I'm trying to write down the various dreams I've been having lately. The images are sometimes so vivid and I don't want them to dissipate back into my subconscious, but if there's an emotional aspect, I also want to keep track of that. I actually just had one such dream this evening during a nap:
Nighttime
It’s the middle of the night. I look through my idle Facebook conversations, trying to decide if it’s worth sending a message this late. I still haven’t fully embraced that feature, ever since it switched from an internal e-mail system to a real-time chat engine; unless I’m comfortable enough to drop random Simpsons references into conversation or just randomly send YouTube links, I tend to fret over my choice of words and hang nervously waiting for the response. It’s worse when it’s someone with whom I have an easier real-world rapport than normal.
I usually don’t bother, though. I assume you’re asleep anyway.