I’m sitting at my laptop on a Wednesday night after taking a nap that lasted a little longer than it should have. I had a dream involving a trip to Winnipeg (which was much bigger and nicer than I remembered), watching an SNL episode that was completely different than the real thing, and trying to escape from a house where I inadvertently crashed a party. Fun times.
Read MoreBefore we begin, I don’t really have the words to say anything about the tragedy that just happened in Nova Scotia other than that it was awful.
Read MoreWriting is hard.
Writing is particularly hard when you’re lost in your own head. It’s hard to get much of anything done in that state, but to have to put a coherent string of words together is particularly challenging, especially when you purport to represent your inner self in your writing.
Read MoreTwo weeks into 2020. I’m exhausted.
It’s not just the news cycle, even if everything about Australia, Iran, Trump, Putin, and the Democratic primaries made these two weeks seem like years in themselves. Winter’s always triggered my depression and this year is no different; it also doesn’t help that I caught a bit of a cold last week.
Read MoreThe darker days have been making it harder for me to wake up lately.
Read MoreNot much exciting going on these days; winter still has me mainly seeking warm apartments and minimizing time outside. The last few days brought a snow storm and freezing rain that turned my apartment building’s driveway into an impassable frozen hazard for a few hours, and this morning brought bitterly cold wind. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been so tired in the last little while.
Read MoreAs expected, I slept the weekend away and didn’t concern myself with getting anything posted while I recovered from whatever it was that was laying me low last week.
Read MoreThis week seemingly went by pretty fast, at least compared to last week, but I was pretty tired for most of the day (even after a second coffee); I went home immediately after work, and crashed for two hours after I got in the apartment. I know I don’t get enough sleep most nights, but this morning I had more trouble getting started than usual.
Read MoreI'm trying to write down the various dreams I've been having lately. The images are sometimes so vivid and I don't want them to dissipate back into my subconscious, but if there's an emotional aspect, I also want to keep track of that. I actually just had one such dream this evening during a nap:
Read MoreIt’s the middle of the night. I look through my idle Facebook conversations, trying to decide if it’s worth sending a message this late. I still haven’t fully embraced that feature, ever since it switched from an internal e-mail system to a real-time chat engine; unless I’m comfortable enough to drop random Simpsons references into conversation or just randomly send YouTube links, I tend to fret over my choice of words and hang nervously waiting for the response. It’s worse when it’s someone with whom I have an easier real-world rapport than normal.
I usually don’t bother, though. I assume you’re asleep anyway.
Read MorePersonal website of photographer and writer Bronwyn Douwsma.
I’m on the bus. It’s too early to be human and I haven’t had my coffee yet so I don’t really want to do much; maybe read or listen to music, things that help tune out the other people or the monotony of the commute. When I leave the suburbs, it's usually dark. I sometimes look out the windows, but more to see how far I’ve traveled than at anything interesting. By the time I arrive downtown, I can see the sun coming up over the harbour.
The year is winding down. I’m preparing to go to New Brunswick for my regular Christmas visit with the family; my travel arrangements up there have all been taken care of. I haven’t bothered with Christmas shopping yet; my cash flow was a little tight until my last paycheque came in, and my tolerance for the malls has dropped over the years. Everything costs too much money now.
“Mel’s Rock Pile - MacArthur Park” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Greek Travel”, “Message From Prickley: Mel’s Rock Pile”, “Promo: Jackie Stewart’s Wide World of High Voices”, “Exercise Is Easy”, “Kanadian Korner” and “Mel’s Rock Pile”.
“Dick Cavett” sketches include “Cooking With Marcello”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: Fish ‘N Chips”, “Logos Galore”, “Monster Chiller Horror Theatre” and “The Dick Cavett Show”.
“The Mating Game” sketches include “Promo: Starting Out with Bill Needle”, “Eskimo Arts”, “Message From Prickley: The Mating Game”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: Taxi Driver”, “SCTV News” and “The Mating Game”.
“Gene Shalit’s America” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Societal Behavior”, “American Express”, “SCTV Special News Report”, “Kanadian Korner”, “SCTV News”, “Comment with David Brinkley”, “Gene Shalit’s America” and “Dialing For Dollars”.
“Midnight Express Special” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Basic Photography”, “Mamorex Video Tape”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: Tomorrow, Today, Tonight”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Message From Guy: Midnight Express Special”, and “Midnight Express Special”.
“Cookery Crock” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Disasters In The Home”, “Nasex Nasal Deodorant”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: The Freddie De Cordova Show”, “Cookery Crock” and “Quincy: Cartoon Coroner”.
“Two-Way TV” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Astrology”, “Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre”, “Kanadian Korner”, “SCTV News”, “Comment with David Brinkley”, “Promo: Cruisin’ Gourmet”, “Two-Way TV”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Promo: Crazy Crafts”, and “Sermonette: Rabbi Karlov”.
“Alpha Channel” sketches include “Gordon Lightfoot Sings Every Song Ever Written”, “Cooking With Marcello”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Crazy Crafts”, “Message From Guy: Alpha Channel”, “Promo: Alpha Channel”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, and “Dialing For Dollars”.
There’s a podcast called The Loudest Girl In The World, hosted by Lauren Ober. The show concerns Ober’s autism diagnosis at 42, as well as her experience dealing with this information and opening up to others about it. When I listened to it last summer, I related pretty heavily to what she was talking about. I’ve also started to make peace with how my own brain works in the last few years. It’s been a rough road, though.