Social Distancing Diaries: April 22

I’m sitting at my laptop on a Wednesday night after taking a nap that lasted a little longer than it should have. I had a dream involving a trip to Winnipeg (which was much bigger and nicer than I remembered), watching an SNL episode that was completely different than the real thing, and trying to escape from a house where I inadvertently crashed a party. Fun times.

These blog posts help me keep track of time. It’s only been three days since the killing spree that claimed 22 people (plus the gunman) but it already feels like years. I’m on my sixth week working from home, but it still feels like an aberration instead of the new routine. I still take my vitamins and anti-depressants every day, and every once in a while I venture out of the apartment for groceries and other things. If I feel like it, I’ll watch a TV show or listen to some music, and of course, there’s always the cat (who tries to stop me from using either my work or home computer).

I’m too tired to overthink things these days. There’s a whole lot of stuff I can’t do anything about right now. It doesn’t do me much good to rage against the nastiness and incompetence of the leader of a country I don’t even live in; all I can do right now is limit my exposure to his face and voice as if they were the coronavirus itself. I can’t guarantee I won’t get infected when I go out and buy groceries; all I can do is keep my distance from other people and try not to touch my face.

What’s the difference between bravery and recklessness? What's the difference between vulnerability and oversharing? I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. Do you just become brave and vulnerable because you want something better from your life and relationships, or are you just tired of the effort it takes to be careful?

I needed this pizza on Monday