The internet (rightfully) gets a lot of flak for a lot of things, but one thing I still love about it is that I have found so many other people whose stories and experiences I can relate to. This is the main thing that continues to attract me to blogging: I love having the opportunity to show little bits of myself and my world, and I love the feeling that comes when I read something that resonates with me on a personal level.
Read MoreI shaved off my beard and eyebrows last week. I had been looking in the mirror and feeling a disconnect between my inner self and the reflection looking back at me; it’s just like when my hair grows past the point where my pattern baldness is visible in my shadow.
Read MoreI had to take a break from the personal blog last week because I was feeling a little worn down again. I think it’s a combination of a few things: overload from the news cycle, overwhelming feelings (some of which I decided to finally book an appointment with a therapist to figure out), and the time change making it dark by the time I head home (I’ve always been affected by this time of year).
Read MoreI want to thank the people who filled out the survey in last week’s post; someone suggested I give my own answers to the questions I posed, so I figured that’s a way to meet my post-a-week quota. (By the way, if you still haven’t answered the survey, feel free to go ahead. It’s anonymous, goes straight to my e-mail inbox, and won’t be shared with anyone.)
Read MoreI’m not feeling especially inspired to write much this week; I had to clean the kitchen again for a follow-up treatment from the exterminators, so there really wasn’t much time to devote to finding some story to tell about my own life. I’m also about to start on another project soon and want to focus on that for a bit. I’ll still post here every week, but I just needed a rest (of sorts).
In the meantime, I want to know people are reading these things, so here’s another anonymous form you can fill out.
Read MoreThe darker days have been making it harder for me to wake up lately.
Read MoreI've been a little more cavalier about adding people on Facebook lately; sometimes I go through spurts where I browse the “people you may know” list for new connections.
Read MoreI took a short vacation to Boston the last week of September.
Read MoreHalifax was hit by Hurricane Dorian, the same storm that caused so much damage in the Bahamas, last weekend. It was only a category 2 by the time it got here, but we’re not really accustomed to the storms being hurricane-strength when they reach Canada.
Read MoreMy brain and body haven’t been the most cooperative this summer.
Read MoreIt’s been a little while since I’ve posted here.
Read MoreI’m in a weird headspace this week, and it’s not one I like.
Read MoreMy energy has been off for the past little while, and most of my free time usually involves me sleeping or wanting to be back home to sleep. I don’t know whether this is a side effect of my medication, some other underlying medical reason, or just another depressive spell. A lot of the time I don't want to do anything enough to endure the slightest bits of effort they take.
Read MoreI took a short break from social media last weekend; I’m not sure what specifically triggered it, but when I made a deliberate choice not to check in on my feeds, it felt good. I decided to take another hiatus from starting after work today and lasting until the morning of the 23rd. I haven’t felt like I had enough focus, motivation or energy lately (and definitely wasn’t using it to be social), so I hope this will help with that and let me find my voice again.
I’m leaving Facebook Messenger on my phone because family members use that to check in, but I also appreciate e-mails (bjdwsm@gmail.com) or text messages (not posting my number here, sorry).
Read MoreI used to write longer e-mails to people; I still do this for a handful of people, but I’m finding it harder to come up with the words in private correspondence, especially when so much is already said elsewhere online with just a double-tap or an emoji. These days I’ve been finding it easier to sort my emotions and think through experiences on here than to hash them out in private.
Even though this is in a public space, I hope you feel like that by reading this you’re connecting with me on some personal level. My favorite writing online always has this sense of intimacy to it and a sense that it’s one person trying to connect with each of their readers as individuals.
Read MoreI had a depressive episode last week. I’m doing better now, but it brought back memories of two years ago when this state was more common. I’m not sure what (if anything) triggered it; I’m just going about my business and then all of a sudden I’m in a mood where I’m dreading and consciously minimizing interactions with others. I just hid in my cubicle on Friday, trying to endure the day, and as soon as I got out of work I was in a hurry to get off the Halifax peninsula. I knew I was in no mood to cook, so I stopped off at Mary Brown’s for dinner, and then once I got home I just stayed in bed for most of the weekend.
Read MoreI was going to write another entry about how winter’s been wearing me down (particularly the physical aspect of traipsing over insufficiently cleared sidewalks), but I already explored that subject in the last few posts and it’s already March, so I’m just going to give another short update on what I’ve been up to, what I’ve been thinking about, and what’s on the horizon.
Read MoreNot much exciting going on these days; winter still has me mainly seeking warm apartments and minimizing time outside. The last few days brought a snow storm and freezing rain that turned my apartment building’s driveway into an impassable frozen hazard for a few hours, and this morning brought bitterly cold wind. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been so tired in the last little while.
Read MoreHey all, it’s been a little while since I’ve posted a personal entry, but there really hasn’t been much to report since the beginning of the year. Most of my focus has been on work, sleep, spending time with the cat and writing SNL reviews, and that leaves precious little time for much else. That said, I know there are a few people who are curious as to what I’ve been up to these days, and I don’t want to write the same e-mail multiple times, so here’s as good a place to write it.
Read MorePersonal website of photographer and writer Bronwyn Douwsma.
I’m on the bus. It’s too early to be human and I haven’t had my coffee yet so I don’t really want to do much; maybe read or listen to music, things that help tune out the other people or the monotony of the commute. When I leave the suburbs, it's usually dark. I sometimes look out the windows, but more to see how far I’ve traveled than at anything interesting. By the time I arrive downtown, I can see the sun coming up over the harbour.
The year is winding down. I’m preparing to go to New Brunswick for my regular Christmas visit with the family; my travel arrangements up there have all been taken care of. I haven’t bothered with Christmas shopping yet; my cash flow was a little tight until my last paycheque came in, and my tolerance for the malls has dropped over the years. Everything costs too much money now.
“Mel’s Rock Pile - MacArthur Park” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Greek Travel”, “Message From Prickley: Mel’s Rock Pile”, “Promo: Jackie Stewart’s Wide World of High Voices”, “Exercise Is Easy”, “Kanadian Korner” and “Mel’s Rock Pile”.
“Dick Cavett” sketches include “Cooking With Marcello”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: Fish ‘N Chips”, “Logos Galore”, “Monster Chiller Horror Theatre” and “The Dick Cavett Show”.
“The Mating Game” sketches include “Promo: Starting Out with Bill Needle”, “Eskimo Arts”, “Message From Prickley: The Mating Game”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: Taxi Driver”, “SCTV News” and “The Mating Game”.
“Gene Shalit’s America” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Societal Behavior”, “American Express”, “SCTV Special News Report”, “Kanadian Korner”, “SCTV News”, “Comment with David Brinkley”, “Gene Shalit’s America” and “Dialing For Dollars”.
“Midnight Express Special” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Basic Photography”, “Mamorex Video Tape”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: Tomorrow, Today, Tonight”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Message From Guy: Midnight Express Special”, and “Midnight Express Special”.
“Cookery Crock” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Disasters In The Home”, “Nasex Nasal Deodorant”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Promo: The Freddie De Cordova Show”, “Cookery Crock” and “Quincy: Cartoon Coroner”.
“Two-Way TV” sketches include “Sunrise Semester: Astrology”, “Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre”, “Kanadian Korner”, “SCTV News”, “Comment with David Brinkley”, “Promo: Cruisin’ Gourmet”, “Two-Way TV”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, “Promo: Crazy Crafts”, and “Sermonette: Rabbi Karlov”.
“Alpha Channel” sketches include “Gordon Lightfoot Sings Every Song Ever Written”, “Cooking With Marcello”, “Kanadian Korner”, “Crazy Crafts”, “Message From Guy: Alpha Channel”, “Promo: Alpha Channel”, “Bill Needle’s Mailbag”, and “Dialing For Dollars”.
There’s a podcast called The Loudest Girl In The World, hosted by Lauren Ober. The show concerns Ober’s autism diagnosis at 42, as well as her experience dealing with this information and opening up to others about it. When I listened to it last summer, I related pretty heavily to what she was talking about. I’ve also started to make peace with how my own brain works in the last few years. It’s been a rough road, though.